Minister Jones, we’re here to help

ifa has learnt that Mr Jones has woken up to the fact that calling employees of licensed financial institutions “qualified advisers” probably wasn’t his brightest moment and that he intends to use the Christmas break to come up with a better title.

As such, ifa has decided to offer its help by compiling a list of possible names advice givers (suggestion number one) from banks, superannuation funds and insurers can embrace without offending actually qualified advisers, and without creating unnecessary and potentially dangerous confusion among consumers.

Without further ado, here are our suggestions:

• Non-relevant provider
• Relevant provider
• Financial consultant
• Product agent
• Limited adviser
• Sales representative
• Product representative
• Restricted adviser
• Superannuation adviser
• Insurance adviser
• Banking adviser
• Conflicted sales representative
• Product adviser
• Financial support adviser
• Wealth manager
• Asset allocation consultant
• Financial literacy coach
• Fiscal planning consultant

And here are some suggestions made by ChatGPT (all clearly better than qualified adviser):

• Portfolio optimisation specialist
• Debt management counsellor
• Wealth whisperer
• Capital curator
• Coin connoisseur
• Cash flow conjurer
• Strategy sorcerer
• Prosperity pundit
• Asset artisan
• Financial feng shui master
• Dream dollar designer

If you would like to add to our list, please do so in the comments section.

*Disclaimer: this article is, at times, of a satirical nature.